Friday, November 4, 2011

Last Breath (150 Word Story)

Talon knelt down on the side of the road, blood dripping from his chest where the bullet had hit him. He clutched the wound and stared at his hand in horror, a thick coating of blood encasing his grip. The grimy slush below him turned red slowly as he choked and spattered crimson pots onto the snowy canvas. 'Let it all end,' he thought, and shakily grasped for the knife he had in his pocket, flicking the blade out of its shell. His eyelids closed in sadness and regret as his jaw clenched, waiting for the self-inflicted blow to free him. With a single, jerking motion of his arm, he brought death to his chest, and ribbons of blood celebrated their freedom from life. Falling over onto his back and gazing at his last breath in the cold night air of winter, his eyes shut for the final time.

2 comments:

  1. Hokay, WOW! great piece John. Nice descriptions and fixed to moving action. this flows so well! Only suggestion is to change "hit" from the first sentence and "shut" from the last. :]!!!

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  2. warm: very descriptive and action packed.
    cool:make sure your organized with the story because i got confused in the beginning.

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